"The thought manifests as the word; the word manifests as the deed; the deed develops into habit; and habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care, and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings." Buddha. Thought is the first and fastest step into the cave. A simpler truth I don't think has ever been spoken. This is a deep and entailed subject and yet it really is all within that simple statement. I have written about the cave, the name I have for that place which exists inside all of us which we believe to be separate and hidden, our own sanctuary. It's the place that the thought, that Buddha told us to watch, takes place. Deep inside ourselves, do you know what I'm talking about?
The cave is that place we sweetly tell ourselves lies. When we didn't get that promotion, when he/she doesn't notice us, when we broke grandma's lamp; all the excuses and rationalizations take place in the cave. It really is who we really are. However it's not the liar, but the sleeper who is lied to that we are. We have to take a stand and choose to be that person. That is a huge step because that person is the one who didn't get the promotion because they've had a shitty attitude at work, not because the boss is unfair. That is the person who cheated in the third grade and most certainly knew better. That is the person who.... fill in your own lies to yourself here. You'll figure it out, and what you'll see is that those tiny thoughts which we grow into lies are where you have to start. They float in like so much food for the eel of your ego to snap up and turn into soothing self-deception. You must take a stand against this if you ever hope to experience true happiness. Because the soothing lies bear with them a mask which is a barrier between you and the real world. At worst it becomes a fantasy world you inhabit and operate what was a mask and is now a marionette called you.
As you move through life friends will come and friends will go. The ones who stay have seen either the deepest level of truth you're able to allow, or have really seen you. The ones who move on either do so because of circumstances (some of which we ourselves engineer) or an interaction with us in which we used our mask or puppet against them. We can be secure enough to look for this if we have taken a firm stand on being not the liar, not the puppet but that sleeping soul, the actual perpetrator of all our evil deeds. When we hoist that responsibility onto our shoulders we will become. So that thought, which entered the cave as a tiny particle with no effect on us has been taken in and has been made into a dark pearl which sits in our heart. It has been pressed into a brick to add to the walls we've been building. It is a stepping away from our true heart, the heart which knows right from wrong, and leaves us piloting the remote to a fancy me-puppet which responds in real time; no batteries needed. It slowly separates from those we love. It slowly isolates us and drains us. Sometimes we use a substance as the train from pain into the cave. When we can't think quickly enough to fabricate a reason, we need some lubricant. When we are too afraid to speak, too afraid to own who we really are but aren't accomplished enough liars we hide in our abuses and obsessions. Slowly that eel has us all to itself. It whispers soothing lies and keeps us there like the "other mother" versions of ourselves. Can you see it's button eyes? Look for this when you feel alone, when you feel hopeless, lost, spun, twisted, confused and the like. When your friends have left you, when you've raged against the world, when the dust settles, take a good look within and don't be fooled by the shiny surfaces of your lies. If it really were that spectacular you'd have your own reality show by now, or at least; you wouldn't be alone. Something is amiss.
So I've seen in, I've done battle with the eel, I've won victory and I own that third grade indiscretion. My work isn't done. Now that I'm awake and taking responsibility for who I actually am, I have a lot of clean up to do. I will most certainly fall back as I deal with the mess and all the incoming bologna the eel action has set forth in my life. I will eventually work through all the new stuff and I will have time to face the old. How do I know what is what? What if I get lost again (and you will)? What if? The real question is how do I recognize the fall? That eel is slippery and that eel is & always has been, you. The lies are sweet and easy so how do I know? When we're alone in life or feel like it, go back to the cave and center and own it. When I feel alien I could have slipped, I could just be uncomfortable being. When we have to rewrite the script of our lives quickly to accommodate that familiar feeling, to "patch things up", to smooth it out and so on. When our stomach tells us to. When Jiminy Cricket sings to us we should go back to the cave and be. When we secretly suspect, we should be proactive and go check. When we're "planning on something" but not doing it. When we're waiting for something but not moving forward. When we're trying to do or get something, but not actually doing or getting it. Each trip back to the cave brings with it our light. The grey starts to fade and the path becomes clear. We are in charge, or more to the point, you are in charge of every action you take, of every choice you make and, ultimately, on every thought you feed the eel.
Ok, I'm back at the cave, now what? We have to take a clear stand against delusion. It is a stand we take against ourselves, against the actions we took our lies which covered it. We must know: I am the sleeper not the liar. I am one person. I did what I have done. I own the depth of my self in my actions. I know when I "knew better" and I watched myself look away. When I recognize myself make an excuse to myself for my own indiscretions, I know that is my beanstalk outta here! I have often said: The recognition of a moment where you witnessed yourself making an excuse to yourself for your own bad behavior is the call to enlightenment by establishing the source of, action of and only escape from, your own karma. You have to own those moments, like ladders to your higher self you must own the first rung and every rung you climb. You must take a decisive stand and you must be only one person while you do, it absolutely must be wholly authentic. And just in case you're feeling down about this, that it's too heavy to shoulder, believe me when I say; You are worth it! You are so very much worth your own effort.
Now that I've been in and made it out, now that I'm free, now that the Universe makes perfect sense and I can really see... now in my elation I will celebrate! I've made it! Hooray!... oh damn, here I go again. It's so easy to slip. Just remember to be. You know who you are, and if you don't find yourself go looking. I found myself by going back to find Vizzini. I went to the beginning of myself. No, not my birth, but the place outside of space and time where I exist and I defined my morals, I defined my ethics and I took a stand on every moment which didn't meet them. I allowed for being human so I didn't obsess and I came out. I came out into the world naked and aware and me. So simple, to just be you. Your journey is yours; these are just my sign posts to my brothers and my sisters. We make this world we live in by who we will be. The past is a memory from only my perspective and so isn't truth. The future is only conjecture or anticipation and again only from my perspective and isn't truth. Right now I exist with you and that spark between us, that unspoken magic, that fabric of the Universe which I believe to be love is the only truth because it encompasses us all. It is right now and we really should just get on with it.
My own path has brought these words of wisdom to me:
What will be will be. I will be humble. I will be a good person. I will be.
The cave is that place we sweetly tell ourselves lies. When we didn't get that promotion, when he/she doesn't notice us, when we broke grandma's lamp; all the excuses and rationalizations take place in the cave. It really is who we really are. However it's not the liar, but the sleeper who is lied to that we are. We have to take a stand and choose to be that person. That is a huge step because that person is the one who didn't get the promotion because they've had a shitty attitude at work, not because the boss is unfair. That is the person who cheated in the third grade and most certainly knew better. That is the person who.... fill in your own lies to yourself here. You'll figure it out, and what you'll see is that those tiny thoughts which we grow into lies are where you have to start. They float in like so much food for the eel of your ego to snap up and turn into soothing self-deception. You must take a stand against this if you ever hope to experience true happiness. Because the soothing lies bear with them a mask which is a barrier between you and the real world. At worst it becomes a fantasy world you inhabit and operate what was a mask and is now a marionette called you.
As you move through life friends will come and friends will go. The ones who stay have seen either the deepest level of truth you're able to allow, or have really seen you. The ones who move on either do so because of circumstances (some of which we ourselves engineer) or an interaction with us in which we used our mask or puppet against them. We can be secure enough to look for this if we have taken a firm stand on being not the liar, not the puppet but that sleeping soul, the actual perpetrator of all our evil deeds. When we hoist that responsibility onto our shoulders we will become. So that thought, which entered the cave as a tiny particle with no effect on us has been taken in and has been made into a dark pearl which sits in our heart. It has been pressed into a brick to add to the walls we've been building. It is a stepping away from our true heart, the heart which knows right from wrong, and leaves us piloting the remote to a fancy me-puppet which responds in real time; no batteries needed. It slowly separates from those we love. It slowly isolates us and drains us. Sometimes we use a substance as the train from pain into the cave. When we can't think quickly enough to fabricate a reason, we need some lubricant. When we are too afraid to speak, too afraid to own who we really are but aren't accomplished enough liars we hide in our abuses and obsessions. Slowly that eel has us all to itself. It whispers soothing lies and keeps us there like the "other mother" versions of ourselves. Can you see it's button eyes? Look for this when you feel alone, when you feel hopeless, lost, spun, twisted, confused and the like. When your friends have left you, when you've raged against the world, when the dust settles, take a good look within and don't be fooled by the shiny surfaces of your lies. If it really were that spectacular you'd have your own reality show by now, or at least; you wouldn't be alone. Something is amiss.
So I've seen in, I've done battle with the eel, I've won victory and I own that third grade indiscretion. My work isn't done. Now that I'm awake and taking responsibility for who I actually am, I have a lot of clean up to do. I will most certainly fall back as I deal with the mess and all the incoming bologna the eel action has set forth in my life. I will eventually work through all the new stuff and I will have time to face the old. How do I know what is what? What if I get lost again (and you will)? What if? The real question is how do I recognize the fall? That eel is slippery and that eel is & always has been, you. The lies are sweet and easy so how do I know? When we're alone in life or feel like it, go back to the cave and center and own it. When I feel alien I could have slipped, I could just be uncomfortable being. When we have to rewrite the script of our lives quickly to accommodate that familiar feeling, to "patch things up", to smooth it out and so on. When our stomach tells us to. When Jiminy Cricket sings to us we should go back to the cave and be. When we secretly suspect, we should be proactive and go check. When we're "planning on something" but not doing it. When we're waiting for something but not moving forward. When we're trying to do or get something, but not actually doing or getting it. Each trip back to the cave brings with it our light. The grey starts to fade and the path becomes clear. We are in charge, or more to the point, you are in charge of every action you take, of every choice you make and, ultimately, on every thought you feed the eel.
Ok, I'm back at the cave, now what? We have to take a clear stand against delusion. It is a stand we take against ourselves, against the actions we took our lies which covered it. We must know: I am the sleeper not the liar. I am one person. I did what I have done. I own the depth of my self in my actions. I know when I "knew better" and I watched myself look away. When I recognize myself make an excuse to myself for my own indiscretions, I know that is my beanstalk outta here! I have often said: The recognition of a moment where you witnessed yourself making an excuse to yourself for your own bad behavior is the call to enlightenment by establishing the source of, action of and only escape from, your own karma. You have to own those moments, like ladders to your higher self you must own the first rung and every rung you climb. You must take a decisive stand and you must be only one person while you do, it absolutely must be wholly authentic. And just in case you're feeling down about this, that it's too heavy to shoulder, believe me when I say; You are worth it! You are so very much worth your own effort.
Now that I've been in and made it out, now that I'm free, now that the Universe makes perfect sense and I can really see... now in my elation I will celebrate! I've made it! Hooray!... oh damn, here I go again. It's so easy to slip. Just remember to be. You know who you are, and if you don't find yourself go looking. I found myself by going back to find Vizzini. I went to the beginning of myself. No, not my birth, but the place outside of space and time where I exist and I defined my morals, I defined my ethics and I took a stand on every moment which didn't meet them. I allowed for being human so I didn't obsess and I came out. I came out into the world naked and aware and me. So simple, to just be you. Your journey is yours; these are just my sign posts to my brothers and my sisters. We make this world we live in by who we will be. The past is a memory from only my perspective and so isn't truth. The future is only conjecture or anticipation and again only from my perspective and isn't truth. Right now I exist with you and that spark between us, that unspoken magic, that fabric of the Universe which I believe to be love is the only truth because it encompasses us all. It is right now and we really should just get on with it.
My own path has brought these words of wisdom to me:
What will be will be. I will be humble. I will be a good person. I will be.
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