Once there was a young girl, of maybe 12 years, living in a small village at the base of a hill below a Buddhist temple. She wanted to study Buddhism. She was Buddhist as her whole family was, and her entire village, but she wanted to study the great teachings. She decided to walk to the temple under the stupa to ask for teachings from the Lama. She spent the morning in her usual ritual of making herself pretty. Her finest clothes, combed hair and headdress. She wanted everything to be perfect. The walk to the temple was a long one, especially for one with the shorter legs of a child. When she arrived and asked to speak to the Lama she was led into the temple to wait. Finally the Lama walked in and told her "I cannot see you. I cannot teach a woman and certainly cannot teach one who I cannot see. Do you know where you live?". She stammered and before she could answer she was ushered out and faced the long walk down the hill alone. His words echoed in her ears. Of course she knew where she lived. This village and its intolerance! It's inequality! Women are more intuitive, nurturing and compassionate anyway, she thought. It seems more fitting that a woman learns those ways. She was furious by the time she reached the bottom where she lived. She didn't go home, but instead, she went to the quiet pond to think. She had been dreaming of herself as a nun for so long, how could this end so abruptly and so incomplete? As she thought quietly to herself she studied the lotus and tried to find the hidden meaning. She knew the stories. She could see why they were looked upon with such marvel and depth. Of course the flower blooms pure from the dirt and muck of the pond. From its dirty and soiled origins it bloomed fragrant and light as it rose above the stagnant waters. She had emulated that for her walk to the Lama. She tried her best to show that she was a beautiful flower growing bright from her meager roots. Her anger grew and she heaved a large stone into the pond. As the stone struck the calmness of the water it launched the stagnant algae back to her. As she tried to wipe the slime from her best clothes she looked up and noticed that the flowers were bobbing up and down over the ripples as the water calmed back down. It occurred to her that they do not live on the water they live above it. The meaning of the Lamas words had started to become clear. Where did she live?
Over the coming months she studied herself carefully to find where she lived. She grew ashamed of herself and her actions on her first walk to the Lama. She decided that she had accentuated only her appearance when she had asked to be taught. She had paid no attention to her mind or her spirit. She would go again! She dressed in the robes she wore every day. She pulled her long black hair back and tied it in a simple ribbon. There was ample time left in the morning because she did not spend it on her hair or clothes. She meditated before she left to quiet her spirit and balance her mind. She still had no answer for the Lama. She did not know where she lived. As she set out up the hill the rest of the villagers were standing out side of their homes. There was a strange uneasiness in the air. As she past one of her neighbors the woman reached out and pulled her hair out of the ribbon. She looked at the girl and told her "you're nothing special, he won't teach you!" The girl was taken aback. She had done nothing to this woman. What was it about her aspirations for betterment that made this person so angry? She decided to travel on and gather herself as she went. She noticed a stray black hair on her shoulder moving with the breeze and tried to smooth it back to her hair. She realized it was a loose hair that had been pulled out by the angry woman. As she passed another shop the man who owned it stepped out and told her she should know her place and he too pulled some of her hair. She looked up the path to the temple and realized that the path was lined with people waiting for her to pass. She thought about giving up, she thought about trying to go another day, she thought about how she could get out of this torture. Nothing came to her. She knew she had prepared herself for this day and no other. She weighed the importance of this journey and decided to keep walking. As she walked the people lining the streets accused her of many ugly things, they told her she was unworthy, ugly, too skinny, too fat, too short, too dumb! She walked slowly onwards. Every time her courage would falter she would remind herself of how important the teachings were to her. By the time she reached the temple she had no hair and was wearing only her undergarments. The undergarments which everyone wore. She looked no different than any other disciple seeking enlightenment.
The Lama was waiting for her. As she approached his face lit with a smile that warmed her heart to it's depths and he spoke. "Now I can see you!" then he paused and asked her the question she had been pondering. "Where do you live?" She thought and replied "I live no where". Gently he took her hand and spoke softly into her ear. "You are not where you are from, you are not what you wear, you are what is in your heart and mind. Look at yourself. Do you live in the male? Do you live in the female? Can you tell me which parts of your soul are male or female? No! Only in this life do we draw such distinctions, do we make such restrictions. Where do you live? Do you live in the male part of your soul? Do you live in the female?". The young woman still had no answer. She had never thought of herself as anything but a starting point... "But I am a girl" she stated in a small and unsure voice. "Are you?" asked the Lama "Or is it simply that is what you see?" "Look past that into the light which you bring to this world and tell me how you know it is male or female?" "Your body is a possession when you view it as opposed to or compared to the world. Think of your body as a book. It is only a tool for communication. Your body is complex because communication in this life is complex. Your body speaks to you. It speaks to your mind and it speaks to your soul. You see yourself as female because that is where the lessons in this life need to come from. You chose this incarnation for yourself, so you must know you can handle the lessons. We do not wish for possessions but that is not to say that we don't want our bodies to be healthy. When we see our bodies as a vehicle for our learning, for our spirituality, it ceases to be a possession and we can accept it for what it is.". The young woman pondered the meaning in what the Lama was trying to communicate.
How could this be? Men are big and strong. They are hunters, protectors, and leaders. Women are soft and nurturing and compassionate. They are mothers, caregivers, and healers. All people think of their dress, their hair, their possessions. .. If my body isn't a possession then it doesn't belong to me. She spoke, softly, but with determination "If my body is not a possession, then it doesn't belong to me, whom does it belong to? What am I if I am not what I see me to be?" The Lama smiled, gently and warm. She began to realize that he was not distinctly male or female. He spoke in what sounded like the gentle breeze, which moves the fallen leaves. "Your body belongs to this world and you are its care taker. You are only what you believe yourself to be. You must think of yourself, not as your beginnings or where you're from, but where you live". The young woman's eyes lit up as she understood. "I am me. I am not this body, I only care for it, learn from it, communicate with it, experience through it. I am the breath of life, which fills it. There is no difference in the source of me and the source of you!". The Lama smiled and took her hands. "How beautiful for you to start your journey in such a way. Remember to listen. Listen to yourself, to your body, to the world and the universe." With that the image of the Lama changed and he became the four-armed Chenrezig. She realized she had received the most valuable lesson. She realized compassion for herself and compassion for all other living things. She smiled into the setting sun…
The End (Ryan Nikkel - written originally in 2008)
Over the coming months she studied herself carefully to find where she lived. She grew ashamed of herself and her actions on her first walk to the Lama. She decided that she had accentuated only her appearance when she had asked to be taught. She had paid no attention to her mind or her spirit. She would go again! She dressed in the robes she wore every day. She pulled her long black hair back and tied it in a simple ribbon. There was ample time left in the morning because she did not spend it on her hair or clothes. She meditated before she left to quiet her spirit and balance her mind. She still had no answer for the Lama. She did not know where she lived. As she set out up the hill the rest of the villagers were standing out side of their homes. There was a strange uneasiness in the air. As she past one of her neighbors the woman reached out and pulled her hair out of the ribbon. She looked at the girl and told her "you're nothing special, he won't teach you!" The girl was taken aback. She had done nothing to this woman. What was it about her aspirations for betterment that made this person so angry? She decided to travel on and gather herself as she went. She noticed a stray black hair on her shoulder moving with the breeze and tried to smooth it back to her hair. She realized it was a loose hair that had been pulled out by the angry woman. As she passed another shop the man who owned it stepped out and told her she should know her place and he too pulled some of her hair. She looked up the path to the temple and realized that the path was lined with people waiting for her to pass. She thought about giving up, she thought about trying to go another day, she thought about how she could get out of this torture. Nothing came to her. She knew she had prepared herself for this day and no other. She weighed the importance of this journey and decided to keep walking. As she walked the people lining the streets accused her of many ugly things, they told her she was unworthy, ugly, too skinny, too fat, too short, too dumb! She walked slowly onwards. Every time her courage would falter she would remind herself of how important the teachings were to her. By the time she reached the temple she had no hair and was wearing only her undergarments. The undergarments which everyone wore. She looked no different than any other disciple seeking enlightenment.
The Lama was waiting for her. As she approached his face lit with a smile that warmed her heart to it's depths and he spoke. "Now I can see you!" then he paused and asked her the question she had been pondering. "Where do you live?" She thought and replied "I live no where". Gently he took her hand and spoke softly into her ear. "You are not where you are from, you are not what you wear, you are what is in your heart and mind. Look at yourself. Do you live in the male? Do you live in the female? Can you tell me which parts of your soul are male or female? No! Only in this life do we draw such distinctions, do we make such restrictions. Where do you live? Do you live in the male part of your soul? Do you live in the female?". The young woman still had no answer. She had never thought of herself as anything but a starting point... "But I am a girl" she stated in a small and unsure voice. "Are you?" asked the Lama "Or is it simply that is what you see?" "Look past that into the light which you bring to this world and tell me how you know it is male or female?" "Your body is a possession when you view it as opposed to or compared to the world. Think of your body as a book. It is only a tool for communication. Your body is complex because communication in this life is complex. Your body speaks to you. It speaks to your mind and it speaks to your soul. You see yourself as female because that is where the lessons in this life need to come from. You chose this incarnation for yourself, so you must know you can handle the lessons. We do not wish for possessions but that is not to say that we don't want our bodies to be healthy. When we see our bodies as a vehicle for our learning, for our spirituality, it ceases to be a possession and we can accept it for what it is.". The young woman pondered the meaning in what the Lama was trying to communicate.
How could this be? Men are big and strong. They are hunters, protectors, and leaders. Women are soft and nurturing and compassionate. They are mothers, caregivers, and healers. All people think of their dress, their hair, their possessions. .. If my body isn't a possession then it doesn't belong to me. She spoke, softly, but with determination "If my body is not a possession, then it doesn't belong to me, whom does it belong to? What am I if I am not what I see me to be?" The Lama smiled, gently and warm. She began to realize that he was not distinctly male or female. He spoke in what sounded like the gentle breeze, which moves the fallen leaves. "Your body belongs to this world and you are its care taker. You are only what you believe yourself to be. You must think of yourself, not as your beginnings or where you're from, but where you live". The young woman's eyes lit up as she understood. "I am me. I am not this body, I only care for it, learn from it, communicate with it, experience through it. I am the breath of life, which fills it. There is no difference in the source of me and the source of you!". The Lama smiled and took her hands. "How beautiful for you to start your journey in such a way. Remember to listen. Listen to yourself, to your body, to the world and the universe." With that the image of the Lama changed and he became the four-armed Chenrezig. She realized she had received the most valuable lesson. She realized compassion for herself and compassion for all other living things. She smiled into the setting sun…
The End (Ryan Nikkel - written originally in 2008)
